“The Three Musketeers”

Still backlogged with the many goings on keeping me from posting so I can’t actually post about any of the goings on. It’s a vicious circle. Instead, have a cranky review.

I should first note that while I’m quite familiar with Alexander Dumas, The Three Musketeers is not among the many works of his that I have read. It sort of defies logic, but I don’t really have an excuse. Nevertheless, my point is that I’m rather unfamiliar with all but the most basic knowledge of this swashbuckling tale. Though, I’m not entirely sure that was a fault when it comes to this film. Certainly it was somewhat of an offset to all the negativity that greeted the film.

Movie poster

Personally, I think it would have been better received if it had been released a few months earlier as it’s the hallmark of a summer flick. All action and visual effects and very little substance. That isn’t to say there aren’t redeemable qualities and in fact the choreographed swordplay is quite exceptional. There’s certainly enough of it to keep the running time almost free of boredom.

At the very least your eyes will most assuredly never lack for stimuli. I’m not familiar with Paul W.S. Anderson at all, but I found this film almost nauseating in the amount captured on screen at any given time. There’s no one place for the eye to settle what with the gaudy wardrobe and sets that are littered with complex patterns and details to the point of distraction. I’m a great fan of period pieces, but this one is more a caricature of history than a romanticized version.

All the fussiness in the visual style does help alleviate the dreadfulness of the script, which has a grand helping of wretched dialogue and a plot that is simultaneously difficult to follow and completely transparent. I didn’t know such a thing were possible! And what the hell was up with all the accents?! There’s no point in expending the effort to bemoan the fact that no one sounds like they’re from Paris because not one person sounds like they’re even from the same place! I’ll give Orlando Bloom a bit of credit: he’s finally used a different accent than Legolas from The Lord of the Rings. But only to move so far into the stereotypical bad guy that his only misstep was to never twirl his mustache!

But for as dreadful as all that is what really bothers me is how entirely sick I have become of “bullet-time” like effects. I don’t necessarily mind the usage nor do I entirely despise these advancements being used to update these types of films, though I do admit to having a similar feeling of dissatisfaction with Sherlock Holmes. (Though, I actually liked that film.) No, really, it’s that I didn’t find their usage here enhanced anything. The fights would have been just as interesting without constantly slowing down and speeding up at random. In the end all it did was to make me feel a bit motion sick. Basically, it was like James Bond if it were a period film and lacking any British charm.

Truly, there are better ways to spend two hours.

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2”

Uschi and I are both sick. It is not how I wanted to spend my three-day weekend, but I did finally get to see the last HP film. [Read more…]

Assorted Things

I haven’t really been feeling the Internet much of late. I suppose that’s obvious given my phone-it-in type posts the last few days. I’d apologize, but not much I can do about it. I expect that once classes are less consuming my life I’ll bounce back. I do have a rather important thing I want to post about in the next few days so maybe that will spark some life back into this blog.

Uschi’s sick. Ugh.

Have seen a bunch of movies lately. For the most part they have been underwhelming. Of note, though I did finally get to see Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which I thought was fantastic. I don’t have much memory of the other Apes films, but I’m fairly sure I didn’t dislike them. I will say I was interested in how the CGI would work for this and it is really breathtaking and makes the apes seem even more creepy with how expressive their faces are. Also, afterward I couldn’t help but think how we are so doomed if animals took over the planet because, in general, people suck. Hopefully, in that event my guide dogs would stick up for me. Of course, that would mean that I’d just be another casualty of the global pandemic. Oh, well. I also saw Gnomeo & Juliet, which I thought I would not like at all and I was pleasantly surprised by how adorable it was. I do think “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting” is now forever stuck in my head. (“Gnomeo! Gnomeo! Gnomeo!”)

I finally wrestled my computer back into submission. I’m relieved. Not sure what exactly the problem was, but I did tweak how the external hard drive runs backups so that might have had something to do with it. Hopefully, things will maintain some semblance of working until I have gotten a new computer and/or replaced my laptop.

Anyway, Happy National Vanilla Cupcake Day . . . not sure what I’ll make to celebrate or even if I will. We shall see.

“Cars 2”

I think the world of Pixar. Their philosophy of movie-making is one that I wish more studios would subscribe to. However, while I generally am beyond words after seeing a film of theirs (and thus have never written a review prior to this) I am not a zombie-follower of their films; I don’t think they’ve had any downright flops, but I definitely have my favorites and ones that I don’t particularly care for. Given my lack of enthusiasm for real cars, it shouldn’t be surprising that Cars is not one of the films I care for. And I’m sorry but Ratatouille bores me.

So, anyway, I saw Cars 2. . . .

[Read more…]

Stuff on a Sunday

1.) Submissions for the fifth Assistance Dog Blog Carnival are due by 11:59 p.m. EDT tonight!!! Please let me know if you are planning to participate and can’t make the deadline.

2.) I should be finishing up cupcakes today and they will be shipping out first thing tomorrow.

3.) Uschi turns three tomorrow! The pupcakes I made for her seem to be a hit. We brought some with us to Jenn and Greg’s last night and they were happily gobbled up by both the dogs. I realized after I got home that I never sent Tara home with any for Stu. Oops.

4.) I have now seen Wasabi. We had to watch the dubbed version since I don’t know French and no one wanted to spend the entire movie reading the subtitles to me. Go figure. I think just the experience of watching a French film based in Japan dubbed in English was enough to amuse me, but the film itself was pretty good and I rather enjoyed it.

5.) I need to stop finding crazy awesome Firefly shirts on the Internet. Seriously. I’ve bought five in this last month alone and I wasn’t exactly lacking in Firefly shirts to begin with. But really, can you blame me? How am I supposed to pass up things like this awesome mash-up?