Cottleston Pie

Initially, I set out to write this incredibly serious post about public image and the burden it can present as a guide dog team and I had what you might call writer’s block. I knew where the issue stemmed from and all the points I wanted to highlight and yet I couldn’t get much written beyond the title and a paragraph that I wrote and erased more times than I care to admit. Eventually I decided distance would be beneficial and I promptly began procrastinating on the post for something like a month. This worked out beautifully because when I returned to the post I immediately knew what the issue was: I’m partnered with Uschi now and this is not the issue I think of most readily with her. So, this is not a post about public image, which I may well write one of these days but at present there are 100 other draft posts that are vying for that same opportunity. This is a post about Winnie-the-Pooh.

Uschi and meOkay, no it’s not. Though, the title is a reference to A.A. Milne’s character. (Albeit I generally think of The Muppet Show as Rowlf is quite famous for singing it.) Rather this is about how Uschi is not anything remotely close to serious and is far more often times the living embodiment of a “fluffy brain.” If Uschi had a theme song, it would be “Cottleston Pie.” (Mine, if you’re curious, is probably the “Cupcake Song.”) Now let me assure you, she does have quite a lot of brain and I’m almost entirely certain she is not full of stuffing. Nevertheless she has moments where I sincerely debate these things as fact. For visual proof, please note the photographs in this post. They are some of my most favorite shots of her because of how adequately they showcase my goofy partner.

In controlled situations I truly do not mind the fact that my guide dog is less a working assistance dog and more closely resembles the Nutty Professor. And by “controlled” I mean any time I am not working with her in public, entertaining house guests, or trying to get anything that could be loosely categorized as productive done. I’m highly amused by her. I was quite adamant when I retired my previous guide dog that I wanted the school to provide me with her duplicate sans health issues. I’m just as positive that they thought I said this with tongue firmly in cheek and what I actually meant was “I want a dog who can keep pace with me, but is small in stature so as not to overpower me and has personality to spare.” So, that’s what I got.

I’ve seen a fair few handlers that have mellow dogs and most of them seem quite happy with this. Call me a snob if you will, but I don’t get the appeal of mellow dogs. I don’t really know why, but for want of words to fill out this post I’ll postulate that it stems from my childhood. We always had at least one pet dog while I was growing up. Unfortunately, most of those were senior citizens and excepting when they were either actively working at creating awesome amounts of poop or physically generating said poop they were little more than furry space heaters. Don’t get me wrong, I loved them to bits, but they were not Frisbee catchers or ball chasers or known for trying to stand on their heads. And if any of them were, I was too young at the time to commit this to memory.

Uschi is also a space heater, but that’s the only similarity with my childhood pets. Even in this she separates herself from the pack because her heat output is such that I’m convinced only the fires of Hades can outperform her. At 70 pounds, she’s a tiny thing as shepherds go and like all things that are packaged in a small way she is inherently good. To Uschi, or so my theory goes, “good” means “excessive amounts of energy” which when witnessed is quite impossible to differentiate from what most functioning brains would define as “crazy.” Sometimes this is exhibited by trotting around the house in a very convincing imitation of a dressage horse. Other times she’ll eschew such formality and instead use the length of my house as a racetrack. My personal favorite is when she is so bursting with excitement that she is only capable of processing that she’s very thirsty and so she flits about the house dribbling the entire contents of her water bowl.

Literally and without a drop of hyperbole, she has the most pronounced difference in demeanor when in and out of harness of any guide dog. Not just my girls, but of any guide I have ever known in my entire life. It’s been a year now and I still find myself shocked and amazed that this wild child of a dog actually has the ability to focus and be calm and, you know, work as a guide dog. Oh, and it’s worth stressing this fact: she’s an excellent guide.

Except for when she’s not.

Uschi and me

Three guesses when that is — and the first two don’t count. Right. That whole “crazy” thing. You see sometimes she just can’t help herself and that goofy personality just slips out. Thankfully, a good number of these times have been situations where I’m mostly embarrassed in front of a friend or family member, like when instead of just getting into my friend’s car she literally hurled herself across me and into his lap! More concerning is when her “fluffy brain” turns the most random things into nothing short of intense distraction. Yesterday for instance she spent no less than five minutes completely entranced by one of the garbage cans in my driveway. She actually lunged at it — and very nearly sent me into cardiac arrest because I had no clue what she was reacting to at first. Granted that’s a random example even for her, but sometimes I swear she’s having an incredibly vivid hallucination while she’s supposed to be, well, guiding me. So far this hasn’t caused me anything but temporary confusion at why we’ve stopped for no reason other than for my partner to sit down and observe some elusive thing only she can see. I almost would prefer her wild and intermittent animal distraction. Actually, no. This is at least mildly entertaining and that day in the park was so very not. I used to say that Dolly had a “fifteen minute or two block rule” that was basically her version of needing a cup of coffee in the morning; she needed those minutes or that length of a walk to actually wake up enough to realize she was not asleep and really working. Uschi, on the other hand, is like a three-year-old in her own imaginary play land and sometimes she forgets that the play land is in her mind and it takes over completely. Last year I used that same description save for that she was a two-year-old . . . I’m not sure how long I can justify her childlike (mis)behavior based on age alone. Especially since I don’t think her actual age has anything whatsoever to do with the inner-workings of her stuffing-filled brain. If I had to give a reason, I would say that while her brain may not actually be full of stuff and fluff, it has a specific capacity to hold information that is only rivaled by its ability to be completely overwhelmed by, for lack of a better word, fun. Essentially, she gets carried away with herself and no amount of discipline and obedience is able to fully overcome it.

Let me assuage your fears: her bouts of absentmindedness during work are infrequent. Though, I’m torn between mind-numbing paranoia that one day she’ll fully commit to her Mr. Hyde side and havoc beyond imagining will ensue. However, she is not only almost always spot on when in harness, but she’s shown an amazing ability to stay on her job when other crazy things have happened, like a cat spazzing out on her in a bookstore. So, while the potential exists that she’s going to royally embarrass me in front of more than a few close friends, I’m not wary of her ability to keep me safe even if she is possibly certifiable. Also, and I can’t stress this enough, she proves on a daily basis to be tons more entertaining than my television was all of last year.


This post was written as part of the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival. This sixth carnival’s theme is “Obstacles” and further information can be found here on the founder’s blog.

Assistance Dog Blog Carnival #5: Achievement

Hello and welcome to the fifth Assistance Dog Blog Carnival! This edition is all about achievement.

Assistance Dog Blog CarnivalThere are several definitions for achievement, but I think my favorite is “a great or heroic deed.” To me that really defines an assistance dog. Great or small as the accomplishment or task might be, every single day of their lives these amazing dogs showcase their superior ability. Seeing as a definition alone can hardly encompass how profoundly these dogs influence our lives, I’ll let the posts speak for themselves.

Achieving Independence
One of the greatest advantages that an assistance dog partnership brings to a handler is independence. So it’s not surprising that this would be one of the most common topics that participants wrote about. By My Side‘s Katrin blogs about “The Achievement of Independence” through the different roles she has played with her two guide/service dogs. She states: “With the sense of confidence in myself and my own skills, entering into a partnership with Tom has been [successful] and rich in ways that my partnership with James had never been.”

Torie of The Average of by an Average Blogger writes about her journey to “Achieving independence” through her partnership with her guide dog. She sums everything up by writing about how her life has changed and notes that while some might not view it as much, she feels strongly that it wouldn’t have been possible without her assistance dog.

At My Life as a Blind Person, Michelle also writes about gaining greater independence through obtaining and being partnered with her guide dog in her post “Achievements.” She stresses how this achievement is complex in that it has layers built into it that are themselves achievements.

And Karyn from Through a Guide’s Eyes discusses the “independence [she has] gained by the massive achievement of training [her] dogs with all the naysayers out there” in her post “The Border Collie Boys” highlighting the specifics of training her service dogs and the lessons imparted from it.

The Journey
Sometimes it’s the journey itself that is the achievement as Carin, of Vomit Comet, states: “Some people don’t understand what all goes into working with a guide dog. They don’t get the concept that the team’s learning doesn’t stop when they leave training. But truly, the life of a team is a great big string of achievements.” Her post “Figuring Each Other Out is an Achievement” further details the nuisances of a guide dog partnership that require time and effort to explore and fully understand.

Relatedly, in “A Puppy Raiser’s Achievement” at Plays with Puppies, Patti details the steps in preparing a puppy for his potential career as a guide dog. Or, more accurately, how she goes about her goal “to raise a puppy that is ready to take on the next step” by achieving the established standards outlined by Leader Dogs for the Blind.

Cait also writes about her goals, noting the progress she and her potential service-dog-in-training, Jack, are making and the sense of accomplishment that brings with it in her post “Deep Thinking” over at Dogstar Academy.

At Ruled by Paws, Brooke outlines the path that led to her having the confidence to raise and train her own service dog in “Achieving the Confidence.” She emphasizes: “I’m hoping Cessna will never stop challenging me to become a better person, and that she will help me teach Rogue how to walk in her shoes.”

Here at Gentle Wit I chronicled the “Trials and Triumphs” of my second guide dog’s health issues. The road itself was none too easy, but “obviously it wasn’t all for naught and we made it through . . . Not that I want to repeat it, but I don’t regret the struggle.”

Achieving Team Balance” by Kimberly of Dog Days of Kimberfus, is also about health struggles. Specifically, she writes about the health issues in her second guide dog, Jack, and how that impacted her initial working relationship with her third guide dog, Abby. It’s an experience that I can personally relate to quite well (see the comments section on her post) and a truly inspiring piece that she happily concludes with: “Abby’s health issues played a part in our team taking longer to gel than I’d like, but hard work and determination on both our parts helped us keep the partnership and our bond intact. By our first team anniversary, we were a smooth tandem, gliding along, two bodies working as one.”

A Story of Hope is a website devoted to the memory of a Hope, a service dog who passed away from cancer in 2010. Her partner, Hopesclan, is currently fundraising to obtain her successor. In her post “When All Seems Lost” she blogs about the state of limbo she has been in and the grief she has dealt with since losing Hope: “I know Hope made me a better person and gave me a chance at a a much better life. With her I knew achievement. Where I go from here is a great unknown, but at least I now know the potential my life holds.”

Celebrating Success
Ending on a high note we have some posts that emphasize the accomplishments in an assistance dog partnership! In fact, a notable milestone happened at Dog’s Eye View. In “Achieving Team SuccessLaura marks the one-year anniversary with her second guide dog, Jack, and notes the work that the two have put into maintaining their partnership. Specifically, she writes about how these accomplishments, both big and small, have led her back to “[her] regular life again.”

“I think how much better our partnership has improved is the real achievement here,” remarks Ashley who celebrates her half-year anniversary of her partnership with her service dog, Cole, in her lovely post entitled “Six Months and Stronger Than Ever over at The CRPS Girl.

Meanwhile, at Gilbert and Me, Allison reminisces about her initial meeting with her guide dog Gilbert, their graduation day and the beginnings of their partnership together in “Our Journey Begins.”

Milestones aren’t always big events, though as Sharon, of After Gadget, states in her post ”Our Recent Public Access Achievements.” She explains: “The achievements that Barnum and I celebrate are not the successes of a graduation or a title. Rather, they are small steps that are leading us — oh, so slowly, it often seems — along the path to a working partnership.”

Likewise, Martha at Believe in Who You Are writes about the accomplishment of her “First Major Trip” with her guide dog. She highlights their incredibly long bus ride to a fairly large convention and their initial work as a team on the streets of St. Louis.

Of course, what would a celebration be without a party? Last, but certainly not least is “Puppy Party,” at Allie’s Antics, where puppy raiser Wendy tells us all about the birthday party that was thrown for the first Guide Dogs of Texas litter of puppies. She’s included a slideshow of photos from the party and they are applicably adorable.

In Conclusion
I would like to thank everyone helped make this edition of the ADBC a success by contributing posts and taking the time to read the submissions! I’m also extremely grateful for all the assistance I received in promoting the Carnival; it wouldn’t be nearly the success if there wasn’t a way to garner interest in the event itself. I sincerely hope that you all enjoy this edition a fraction as much as I have in organizing it. It was a great honor and a lot of fun!

If you haven’t yet, please take the time to show your appreciation to our many contributors by leaving a comment on their piece. We all might blog first and foremost for ourselves, but it can sometimes feel a bit lonely in the vastness of the Internet. Also, please share this link (shortlink) with others!

Home Training

In talking with other guide dog handlers, I’ve been reminded of the many differences between “in-community” — home-based — and campus training. Personal preference is a big part of many aspects of working any type of assistance dog and training at home or at a school is no exception. Having experienced both forms of training, I have formed several opinions and as is probably obvious I find home training to be the route for me. That isn’t to say it is what works for everyone who wishes to obtain a guide dog. It’s a choice and there are a great many differences which may be incentives for some and cause a great deal of hardship for others. For my own purposes of discussion, I’ll go through my personal list of positives and negatives and compare each between the two forms of training.

Location, Location, Location

Obviously, by its very nature, home training occurs at home. This means that there is no need to travel to a campus and spend the duration of training there. For the most part, I had little interruption in my daily activities during my two weeks. I did some work; I went grocery shopping; I shoveled my front walk (a lot). On the other hand, during my time at GEB I actually felt cut off from my regular life. In fact, one of my classmates made a comment regarding this — and later that day I found out there had been a hurricane at my house the week before and I’d never known!

Being in my own community also meant far less travel to a route to work. The only time I spent more than 30 minutes en route to somewhere was when Jason and I got sort of lost and had to drive through a blizzard. However, nearly every day of training at GEB required at least a half hour trip to get places. Frankly, I felt like a sardine packed in a can when we traveled, and the transportation I experienced was apparently an improvement over previous modes used. (There have been further changes since I was there, though I don’t know exactly what.) This lack of long travel also meant a much later start to my training each day — potentially I would have been able to sleep in if I didn’t have insomniac GSDs — whereas whether I wanted to or not, I was forced awake at 6:30 sharp every day at school. And life from that moment was commanded by the regimented school’s schedule: meals at this time, lectures at that, etc. Fidelco’s training also had a schedule, but it was by comparison so much more laid back; for instance, even though I was still waking up, generally, just as early I did get to take a nap most days because we either had completed our daily routes early enough or there was a substantial break around lunchtime. With everything involved with traveling away from campus each day, I was never afforded such a luxury. Most days, when I wasn’t actively walking a route, I found myself in an exhausted and bored stupor.

Less Is More

Believe it or not, I actually am incredibly shy. Specifically in situations with many other people. I find it hard to single a person out to communicate with and I never feel comfortable trying to express things to an audience. Understandably this makes the 1:1 student/instructor ratio that home training affords much more enticing to me than the class of 16 with two instructors and a supervisor that I had at a training school. I had the misfortune of being in a class with almost no one I could relate to — I was the youngest by quite a margin and most of the students were veteran handlers. For a great many reasons, I also had a very hard time interacting with the staff. Truthfully, I felt very lonely during my month of training. So much so at first that I cried myself to sleep one night. Dolly helped ease this burden, but then when I’d found myself already bonded with her, I was forced to relinquish her to the school to mend from her feet injuries for nearly a month. (All of this is a story unto itself.) This undoubtedly contributed to my feeling that I was always competing for time and attention from the instructors. But with 15 other students, there was obviously a lot of “down time” where I waited for my turn. I knew this was the case beforehand, but I was unprepared for the extent of “sitting around” that actually took place. It made a lot of my training work seem nearly insubstantial.

My experience with Megan was so different that it’s nearly unrecognizable in comparison. I found Megan very easy to talk with and by the end of training we had truly “clicked.” With no one else around, I always had my instructor’s complete and undivided attention. Which meant I could focus completely on working with my dog and not neurotically ruminating on how I might be coming off as a nuisance. This one-on-one relationship also allowed the trainers to fully absorb themselves in me and the dogs, which gave them the ability to notice anything and give immediate feedback to me. This also meant that we had time to work together more; there was no rush to accomplish any day’s tasks. We could extend our time working a route for as long as we wished or rework on specific things without taking time from anyone else. I was able to have long conversations about all aspects of my dog from equipment to food. It was a very comfortable and enjoyable training. Of course, there is the chance that the instructor and student don’t mesh as well — a fear I certainly had and voiced to Megan, who admitted there certainly were times that such a thing happened and it was always a bit of a “strain” but I would have been well within my rights to ask for a different trainer if it were enough of an issue.

Working Like a Dog

[Note: As I have never attended an "accelerated" training program at a guide dog school, in which you are not required to attend for the full 3-4 weeks. This specific comparison ignores anything attributed to them.]

To anyone who’s never trained with a guide dog, it can be hard to explain how intensive it can be. Depending on how physically fit you are, it can be downright grueling. Especially if you have a rather exuberant dog! But more so it is very emotional draining. Home training can be even more exhausting because it is much more condensed than training at a school. The shorter length in time requires that more work is done and more information given in a quicker time frame. As an experienced handler, who is quite physically fit, I had to admit that at times I did experience a bit of information “overload” and I was utterly exhausted by lunch time. (It didn’t help that I was horribly sick during Uschi’s training.) I did find myself quite astonished at how much was accomplished so quickly at several points during my home training, but I was never overwhelmed. Whereas at a school there is much more time and all of this is far more gradual; sometimes I felt like nothing was happening at all. Though, it should be noted that in all types of training, the steps are such that the handler and dog are eased into the work.

The I in Team

Somewhat in contrast to the benefits of the ratio size, home training does require a bit more self-monitoring than training in a class. When you train at the school, you have your classmates and instructors (and sometimes other staff) to give you constant feedback, criticism and advice. For the inexperienced handler especially, this can be a goldmine of information and assistance.

Home training requires you to be your own teacher and student in a lot of ways. Depending on how experienced you and/or your instructor are, you may be at a disadvantage in terms of information you may not receive. There were a lot of nuiances of guidework that I gleamed during my month at GEB, other handlers, and my own years of working with my guides. This prior foundation was all quite beneficial while working with Megan and Jason. Fidelco instructors do not have any O&M training and, of course, have not had the experience of living amongst their students that school-based trainers get. These deficiencies didn’t seem to bring about anything that jumps out to me as lacking in my training, but I would have qualms if I were a more unsure independent traveler or the like.

It’s a Vacation, Of Sorts

When I was first researching guide dog schools, one of my handler friends said to me: “You’re going to love it! Seriously, it’s like going to Club Med — and you get a dog in the end!” Her tongue-in-cheek description basically was in references to how well cared for you are at a school; living quarters are comfortable, meals are delicious, and your roommate is this spiffy canine. Most schools will also at least partially cover your travel back and forth to the campus, though, you are always welcome to make your own plans. (I did.) Depending on your classmates, it can be an almost tranquil experience to be at a guide dog school and, as I hinted above, you basically are removed from your life — you can “get away from it all” as it were. Certainly an impossibility at home; and for some this could prove to be a major handicap depending on your lifestyle. Those with very important or busy careers (especially parents) may find it incredibly difficult to concentrate on training in such a distracting environment.

Easy Come, Easy Go

As I said, there is generally quite a lot that is included under the umbrella of going to a campus for training. Though, in my experience, I did find it rather impossible to avoid spending undue money while at the training school. I donated a rather large sum of money (especially for an unemployed college student) and then spent nearly that same amount via purchases through the equipment and gift stores. I’m not saying that one shouldn’t be faithful and grateful to their guide dog school; or that one shouldn’t feel the need to support them. But whether it was from inexperience or youth, I did feel consistently pressured to make purchases on several occasions by various staff. Since Fidelco came to my home, I never interacted with a staff or volunteer whose sole purpose seemed to be to fundraise. In fact, a good deal of additional (read: “optional”) things I’d bought at GEB were provided as standard by Fidelco.

Four + Two = One

Much of the bonding process begins — even occurs — during training. In my very humble opinion, this is one of the main reasons a first time handler should not utilize home training because this bonding process is a new concept and can then occur removed from one’s normal surroundings. In specific, when I was training with Dolly I spent a month with her away from my friends and family. Never once did I need to remind those close to me to not interfere — and frankly I doubt I would have realized the necessity or known how to adequately express this as a new handler. These are things I learned from being away and also from the shared experiences of my classmates who were training with successor guides. I feel quite strongly that this was a vital foundation in working with Yara and Uschi, even though ironically enough between the busy training regimen and horrendous weather I didn’t see much of anyone during either training at home. Though, that could very easily have not been the case. Still, this knowledge of how to isolate myself to bond with my new dog and how to tactfully get people to back off from my guide were absolutely not something I would have garnered without that school background and years of experience as a handler.


In conclusion, I am neither advocating for or against either method of training. As I have stated there are pros and cons to both. Personally, I have absolutely no desire to ever train at a campus again based solely on the 1:1 ratio. But in no way do I think home training is without any flaws, nor is it the ideal choice for everyone. When asked by those interested, I have been honest about my feelings on both forms of training. And have expressed my own qualms regarding first time training at home. Of course, I do know of a people who have gotten their first dogs from Fidelco and/or trained at home. I also know of a few people who have never been to a school to obtain their guides. To that, I will merely say that I do not feel there is really a right or wrong approach, but that an informed decision is the best course in choosing what works for you.

Trials and Triumphs

Exocrine pancreatic insufficiency (EPI) is a genetic condition where the pancreas does not produce the necessary enzymes required to digest food and absorb nutrients causing starvation regardless of the amount of food taken in. For further information and other resources on EPI I highly recommend visiting epi4dogs.com because my knowledge comes entirely through my experiences with Yara. Much of which has been chronicled here on my blog.

EPI is highly treatable, thankfully, but to say the entire thing was a struggle is truly an understatement. Yara has a penchant for stubbornness and from practically the moment she entered my life her choice method to showcase this was refusing to eat. Looking back it’s hard not to focus on all the mistakes that I made. Signs of her EPI were present from the moment she entered my life; her bowel movements were a tan color and always disproportionately large in comparison to how much she ate. Our instructor assured me that this was normal and so I never gave much thought to it. At her first annual checkup she got a clean bill of health, but had dropped an alarming twelve pounds! The weight loss continued steadily over the next three months, which was certainly baffling but not exactly alarming. Other than a noticeable increase in her bowel movements and an occasional bout of diarrhea or vomiting Yara seemed fine.

Yara and meThroughout this I was in constant contact with Yara’s school, Fidelco. They were very sympathetic, but hardly alarmed by the weight loss. They offered a bunch of suggestions that included adding everything from vitamin supplements and probiotics to canned dog food and raw beef to her daily meals. At her peak Yara was eating what amounted to more than nine cups of food a day! The addition of the raw beef ignited the first undeniable symptoms of EPI; Yara’s stools morphed into a bright yellow “cow plop” and she started vomiting almost daily. It was exactly the worst thing she could have had in her diet, but I’m strangely grateful that we did because it alerted everyone to how serious things were. Still, it would take nearly two months before she was formally diagnosed. She had a battery of different tests run and they all returned normal results; in fact, the GI test that determined her EPI diagnosis initially showed that she was “marginally” in the range.

By that point I was fully on board with whatever the vet told me. Yara was clearly sick! She never was as ravaged as some EPI dogs I’ve seen, but her ribs were clearly visible at the height of her weight loss. (This photo is the best example I could find.) A fact that the general public made me aware of almost constantly. In fact, there was even a formal complaint made to Fidelco! I tried not to take it as a personal offense when they sent a trainer out within a few days to check on things while for months before they were made aware of the entire situation at every interval and had been completely nonplussed.

The resounding memory of these six months is the amount of stress I was under. I felt pressure from Fidelco to take their advice against my own better judgment or that of my vet’s. This greatly influenced the length of time it took to diagnosis Yara. On the rare occasion that I didn’t side with the school it was made abundantly clear they felt that decision was the root of the problem. (I had changed her food, for instance, so that might be the culprit because she was used to the other food.) Admittedly, I took a substantial amount of time off because of Yara, but my superiors at work were largely unsympathetic. The level of passive aggression and outright punishment directed towards me probably only furthered my own health issues with chronic migraines. (So, when I needed time off because I was sick it was a Big Problem.) And I got no respite because everyone from my family and friends to outright strangers made it known how bad things were. People made a point to remark about how thin Yara was and suggest ways to offset this. (“I think you need to feed her more.”) On countless occasions I was accosted in public about my “obvious” abuse; one woman actually dragged me by the arm while literally in the middle of crossing a street to yell at me!

Yara and meWorst of all was my own personal struggle. I scoured every possible resource for anything that might help. Perhaps she was sensitive to chemicals and so along with her various food alterations she drank only purified water. For months. I changed all of my cleaning and laundry supplies to green products, which I admit I had wanted to do anyway because of my migraines. I went so far as to replace all of her bedding, including a very expensive bed, thinking that she might have an allergy (which she does but that’s a whole other story) and began a long process of eliminating things one by one to determine the cause. But with every change that netted no resolution I kept coming back to one constant: me.

Part of me couldn’t believe that this was possible. I rejected the notion that I was the problem by reminding myself of her nearly flawless work in harness. But every time she refused a morsel of food or had an accident in the house I became just a bit more convinced that she was stressed out by her job. I felt like a rotten human being; I was selfish to want to keep working her and cruel to continue to do so if she wasn’t cut out for this life. Mostly, I felt like a failure. The partnership was faltering and I couldn’t fix it. I was increasingly convinced I was doing something wrong, but proud enough that I wouldn’t dare admit it. Friends tell me they guessed as much, but I never told anyone how bad it really was for me or how close I came to calling Fidelco to take Yara back. To this day I can’t tell you what stopped me. I could say I didn’t want to give up, but I did. I could say that I didn’t want to be parted from her, but that’s hard to believe when every room in the house is covered in dog sick.

Obviously it wasn’t all for naught and we made it through all of this. Yara’s recovery was very swift and though I did eventually retire her because of her health issues it actually had very little to do with any of this or the fact she has EPI. I’ve since remarked on how profoundly she impacted my life in her short working career even though we had more than our fair share of “downs.” Not that I want to repeat it, but I don’t regret the struggle. For all I know it only made the bond we shared even stronger. Mostly, it made me appreciate all the positives we had. Sometimes it was a way to distract myself from how miserable things were and other times that focus was the driving force behind figuring it all out. Together, we accomplished so much!


This post was written as part of the Assistance Dog Blog Carnival. This fifth carnival’s theme is “Achievement” and further information can be found here on the founder’s blog.

Service Dog Denied to Disabled Woman

[EDIT: See also this YouTube video; embedded below, and this blog post.]

A friend emailed me about this yesterday and asked that I share it [original article here]:

PHOENIX – A Valley business faces tough questions from the ABC15 Investigators about thousands in donated money after they deny a disabled woman a service dog.

Amber Steenbock has cerebral palsy. For just a couple of minutes, imagine yourself in her shoes.

EVERYDAY LIFE

“Somebody’s got to get me out of bed,” said Steenbock. “Somebody needs to dress me.”

Her boyfriend, Daniel Stasinski told us how difficult her life can be.

“If there’s no one to open the door for her, she’s stuck indoors,” said Stasinski. “And if she drops something, there’s no one there to pick it up.”

“All my life I had to ask for help,” said Steenbock.

Now, imagine this Chandler woman’s excitement about the possibility of getting help from a service dog.

“I had a feeling that the dog would be able to open up my world in ways that I didn’t know,” she said.

Four non-profit organizations turned her down because of her disability. Then one for-profit business, Arizona Goldens LLC of Mesa said, “Yes”.

RAISING THE MONEY

It would be costly. Steenbock would have to come up with $20,323.84 up front. She would have to sign a contract and raise the money herself. It became her mission.

“It’s kind of ironic that this body has such an independent spirit,” said Steenbock.

She turned to Facebook friends and family like Alaina Schumacher, her cousin in Casa Grande.

“I grew up with her, and I knew that this is something she wanted for a very long time,” Schumacher said.

A high school friend performed a benefit concert in her hometown of Portland, Oregon. They raised about $5,000.

“It was hard work, but I have a lot of good friends and a wonderful boyfriend,” Steenbock said.

Stasinski gave everything he had — $10,000 toward Steenbock’s dream.

According to the contract she signed, she had two years to raise the money. Steenbock did it in less than 6 months.

None of it went to her. Donations went directly into her Arizona Goldens LLC account.

“After they got paid in full, it got very dark,” said Stasinski.

BOOT CAMP

Even though all the money had been raised, Steenbock still did not have a dog.

She had to go through testing. There would be both written and verbal testing. She passed her written test with 83 percent.

Then Steenbock had to go to what the company called Boot Camp training. She said she had no idea what to expect.

“I thought we were going to be sitting down and learning the commands for a while,” she said.

According to Steenbock, that didn’t happen. She told us that the dog wouldn’t obey her because the trainers never left them alone.

“They weren’t listening to me because they were bonded with my teachers,” she said.

Steenbock went to Boot Camp for 5.5 days. And according to Stasinski, she came home crying almost every time.

“There was absolutely no time given for the dog to familiarize themselves with who the actual owner will be,” he said.

Steenbock was told that she failed the verbal test. Not only would she not get a dog, but Arizona Goldens LLL would keep the almost $21,000 she raised.

NO DOG, NO REFUND

Steenbock wanted answers, and so did ABC15.

We caught up with Arizona Goldens LLC after the owners twice refused an interview. We asked why they didn’t give back the donated money.

One of the owners, Brian Daugherty said Steenbock had nine opportunities to pass. He pointed to the contract which states failing the boot camp and the tests meant no dog and no refund.

But the ABC15 Investigators found Steenbock should have expected much more than the 5.5 days of Boot Camp that she said she got.

Steenbock’s paperwork states to expect training to last for six days a week for three weeks. Daugherty told us that those 18 days were for clients with Autism. But, no nowhere on the paperwork does it state only for clients with Autism.

“I care about Amber,” said Schumacher. ”I just can’t understand someone taking advantage of a disabled person.”

Schumacher told us that as a donor, she had no idea about the “no refund” policy because it was nowhere on the fundraising website. The site was set up and operated by Arizona Goldens LLC.

WHERE’S THE MONEY?

So, if the money wasn’t refunded, where is it? The contract states that it goes to “…raising, training and breeding service dogs for other clients.”

We asked the company. Daugherty said, “That’s not what it says in the contract.”

But, that is exactly what it states in the contract.

“These people that we don’t even know,” said Schumacher, “just pocketing [the donations] just feels so violating.”

Stasinski said that Arizona Goldens LLC should not have taken money from donors upfront.

“They shouldn’t be soliciting for the actual dog until they’ve evaluated whether she can even get a dog,” he said.

An attorney for Arizona Goldens LLC sent a five page letter to Steenbock. She shared it with ABC15. The company offered to give her $4,054 in total if ABC15 doesn’t air this story and if she removed statements involving Arizona Goldens from the Internet.

Steenbock refused, and she filed complaints with the Arizona Attorney General’s Office and the Better Business Bureau.

She has a message for the people who donated in her name. “I’m not apologizing because I failed. I’m apologizing because Arizona Goldens failed me. They failed you. And hopefully, we’ll be able to get some good out of this.

Here’s the response from Arizona Goldens, L.L.C.

———————-

We also met up with Happy Tails Service Dogs. It’s a Valley non-profit organization that helps owners train their dogs to become service dogs. Instructor Kristi Nolde-Morrissey explains in the attached video.

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