Afternoon Conversation

Yesterday afternoon I hung out with Alice who is participating in a walking challenge that I’m fairly positive is a thinly veiled attempt to murder people because it was only 95° with 80% humidity. So, basically, we spent three hours at Washington Park doing our best not to melt. As I still have all ten toes I’m confident in stating we were successful, but only by the slightest margin.

Walking is always more interesting when you have someone to talk to. Case in point:

Alice: *indicating that she doesn’t know how to get to the park from where we’re standing* Um, so which way?

Me: *pointing to a building diagonally across the street, which is vaguely the direction the park is in* Straight across the street for a few blocks then right for a block or so.

Alice: Oh?

Me: Hey, I totally know where I’m going.

Alice: That’s what I’m counting on. It’s just the fact it’s the blind leading the clueless does not escape me.

Me: Who you calling clueless?


Me: See that awning up ahead across the street?

Alice: Yes.

Me: That’s where we’re going.

Alice: Ah, good. It’s nice to have a destination. I feel more confident in getting there.

Me: Well, I wouldn’t want you to get lost.

Alice: Never underestimate my ability to get lost.

Me: If you manage to get lost from here to there I will be so impressed. And alien abduction doesn’t count.

Even more later:

Me: You know the thing about Romney that keeps me from voting for him —

Alice: — The fact that he’s a Republican?

Me: Well, yes, but even if that weren’t so it’s that I don’t know what he stands for. He evades every question thrown at him.

Alice: This is true.

Me: I think he’s a serial killer. It’s the only explanation I can come up with to justify his non-answers.

Alice: Hmm. You might have a point there.


Me: So, since I was on jury duty, I spent three plus weeks not being able to watch the news, right?

Alice: Uh huh.

Me: And so I am just now hearing about all this stuff with Chick-fil-A.

Alice: Ugh.

Me: *nods* The sad thing is that what I’m taking away from all this is I actually thought it was pronounced “chick-fill-uh” before this.

Alice: You know, in their defense, their waffle fries are pretty good — What?

Me: Well, we don’t have any around here! And I’d only ever read the name on the Internet. . . .

Alice: Oh, yeah, I can see that.

In other news, Uschi was not on her best behavior and was varying levels of distracted by all the dogs we passed. She also barked at two dogs while we were at the park. I would probably have been more worked up about all of that if I wasn’t holding onto my bottle of water like a lifeline from spontaneously exploding into a ball of fire. Or, you know, dehydration. So, yeah, we need to work on dog distraction more. Again. Preferably on a day where me boiling to death from the heat is less of a possibility.

She was a complete angel when we went to dinner, which is a point in her favor, but that probably was due more to heat exhaustion than any actual training.


  1. I swear, I don’t usually sound like I’m stupid, but yesterday’s walk halfway boiled my brains. Ugh!

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