Yesterday during our routine relieving break/walk at work, I slipped and fell on a slick patch of ice. As history has proven for me, I should have been more alarmed that it didn’t hurt. Especially when not less than two hours later my entire right side was turning an ugly shade of black, blue and yellow and my leg was feeling increasingly stiff and uncomfortable. Admittedly, I bruise very easily but generally such bruising takes a day or so to show for me. (I think it has to do with my low blood pressure/bad circulation thing.) But my pain tolerance is also remarkably high and I’m nothing if not ignorant of my own injuries. So I went about the rest of the day without much complaint.
After the vet appointment and dinner, I finally decided to take a good look at the extent of my bruising and even I was astonished to see that not only my right side from hip to knee was turning interesting shades but also a good chunk of my right forearm and nearly my entire lower back. Now, a smarter person would have thought this would be a good time to go to the hospital to utilize the expertise of professionals and fancy equipment to determine if I’d hurt myself far worse than I’d thought.
But then if I were one of those, this post wouldn’t be working on paragraph three. Instead, I went to bed and tried rather unsuccessfully to sleep. I think at some point I nodded off and wrenched myself in some particularly unpleasant position because I woke up in agony sometime around 10:30 and couldn’t find a position that didn’t cause excruciating amounts of pain.
Needless to say, after a shockingly short visit to the ER, it was determined I bruised my hip bone and tore a ligament in my arm. If you’re keeping track of my numerous long-lasting injuries, this would mean that with the exception of my right leg I’ve managed to sustain permanent ligament damage to every other extremity.1 And I can now add my hip to the growing list of bones I have managed to maim. Because, you know, my tail bone wasn’t the most embarrassing thing to break. Twice.
Decided, quite obviously, to take the day off. Spoke with my supervisor and found out interestingly enough that as this happened on a break used to walk my guide dog, even though I wasn’t physically “at work” it was necessary for an accident report to be filed. My supervisor seemed nonplussed at having to do this over the phone, but I’m pretty sure she spent the majority of the time restraining herself from rolling her eyes out of her head. I’m fairly sure she was having the same reaction my father had upon hearing the sad lack of details I could provide, except I could actually hear his eyes rolling even though he said his peace out loud, too. Is it really that surprising that the only part of the fall I can give a detailed account about is that I slipped and fell? I mean, really, if I had more information than that, probably I wouldn’t have fell!
Truly my life is thrilling, no? ;-)
- In 2000 I was in a car accident where I broke several ribs, ruptured the PCL in my left leg, and both broke and tore ligaments in my left arm. To this day, the only real issue is the knee as it’s basically held together with scar tissue and does from time to time ache to an extent that I would gladly gnaw it off if I didn’t enjoy ambulating so much. ↩